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celzmccelz
02 December 2009 @ 05:23 pm
So there's no getting around the fact that he's a huge hipster, but I kind of guiltily love him now. I've been listening to his music pretty much nonstop for the past two days and it's helping a lot with my overwhelming need to stab people and chew off my own fingers. It's very, very CHILL. Also I really, really appreciate the fact that he's a Christian and writes vaguely religious songs without being a total creeper about it like most Christian artists. And that he's also kind of gay. Or rather some of his lyrics are undeniably homoerotic. He writes about chicks too, though, which confuses the fuck out of the internet. After doing some preliminary research into his possible gayness, I've found a lot of conversations like this:

PERSON A: OMG HE'S TOTALLY NOT GAY!!1!!

PERSON B: OMG YES HE IS HE'S JUST CLOSETED!!!!111!!

PERSON A: OMG NO HE'S JUST OPEN MINDED AND CAN WRITE FROM OTHER VIEWPOINTS!!!!1111

PERSON B: HE WROTE A SONG ABOUT KISSING ANOTHER GUY, THAT'S GAY!!!11!11

PERSON A: HE WROTE A SONG ABOUT HOW HE'S JUST LIKE THAT SERIAL KILLER, THAT DOESN'T MEAN HE'S A SERIAL KILLER!!!111!

PERSON B: LOL THE SONG WAS ABOUT A GAY SERIAL KILLER, IT'S ALL A METAPHOR FOR HIS REPRESSED DESIRES FOR COCK!!!!1!!1

PERSON A: STFU UR A WHORE!!!!!!!!!111!

PERSON B: NO U!!!!11!!!!

PERSON A: MY DENIAL OF HIS GAYNESS IN NO WAY REFLECTS THE FACT THAT I AM FEMALE AND REALLY WANT TO FUCK HIM!!1!!!

PERSON B: MY AFFIRMATION OF HIS GAYNESS IN NO WAY REFLECTS THE FACT THAT I AM GAY/ A SLASHFAN/ A DOUCHE WHO HATES HIS MUSIC AND WANTS TO INSULT HIM BY CALLING HIM A FAG!!!!!!111!!!11

PERSON A: MNUUURRRRRRRR!!!!1!!1 ALSKFJLSDFLSDJKLKJSDF

PERSON B: RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!1ADKFSDASD=KJSDK

And so on and so forth.

I think he's probably just bisexual. It seems unlikely to me that all his songs about women are just a cover or whatever because if he was that concerned about not looking gay, why would he write so many songs about it? And if he was straight, why the fuck would he wear THIS:



That's all I have to say.

Although I suppose there's a chance he's just a REALLY sensitive, metrosexual straight man who writes homoerotic songs and likes giant pink wings.

His gayest song for your listening pleasure:

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Current Location: Mount Everest
Current Mood: amused
Current Music: Sufjan Stevens
 
 
celzmccelz
21 November 2009 @ 07:45 pm
Okay, since I'm apparently incapable of actually accomplishing anything tonight, I may as well give you my thoughts on this week's SPN.

Basically I thought it was made of pretty much equal parts of FUCKING AMAZING AWESOME and UTTER FAIL. It had so much to recommend it--like, I don't know,

THE GAY KISS OMG OMG

Honestly, my mind was pretty much blown after that. Not because it was hot, because EW FAT OLD MAN EW, but just because OMG SPN WILL APPARENTLY STOOP AT NOTHING TO DELIVER FANSERVICE. As shitty as this show is, I have to respect the fact that the writers seem to genuinely care what the fans think. After the violent, firey implosion of Torchwood fandom, WHICH I AM STILL SUFFERING POST TRAUMATIC STRESS FROM (srsly, any time someone mentions a pterodactyl, or a stopwatch, or I FUCKING SEE A GUY IN A WAISTCOAT I'm overwhelmed by this feeling of crushing sadness. It's HORRIBLE), I really appreciate that Eric Kripke, although he is pretty much a retarded douchewad, is at least not operating under the impression that he is an artist, a genius, or God. The SPN Powers That Be, not being complete morons, are at least aware that their fans are the only reason they even HAVE a show, and behave accordingly. Also, they know SPN is trashy and completely lacking anything resembling intelligence, and that it is NOT SRS BZN. I can't believe that my standards have sunk so low that I have actually come to consider this to be a good thing.

So yeah, I loved Crowley, even if he was Badger from Firefly (HATE HATE HATE). He was totally in character and he was fucking awesome AND made out with a guy. Although seriously, he should have known Sam and Dean would fuck things up, incompetent asshats that they are.

Also, HOW FUCKING ADORABLE WAS CASTIEL IN THIS EPISODE??? Drinking like ten shots and then blinking up at them with his huge blue eyes and saying, "I think I"m starting to feel something." I LOVE HIM EEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!

I am disappointed he didn't get tortured by Lucifer, though. The spoilers lied. Also, NEW MEG SUCKS. They shouldn't have brought her back at all, she's terrible.

And speaking of people they shouldn't have brought back, WHY THE FUCK ARE JO AND ELLEN DEAD????? *headdesk* I am so fucking pissed off. FUCKING DOUCHEBAGS. And Jo totally redeemed all her retardedness from season two by shooting down Dean's sleazy come-on, and I was like Wow, I actually like her, AND THEN SHE FUCKING DIES. SO NOT COOL. AND THEN FUCKING ELLEN AS WELL, JESUS CHRIST. So now the only female character left alive on this show is...who? Anna? And she hasn't even shown up yet this season. I guess Meg counts as a female character, but as I said before NEW MEG FUCKING SUCKS.

I didn't really mind the heterosexual kiss, though. I figure she deserved it. If she had to die because the show is run by dicks at least she got to kiss Dean first. I mean honestly, if I was dying I'd want Dean Winchester to kiss me.

Anyway. The actual plot part of this episode was actually pretty terrible and made no sense. What the fuck even happened? They blew up a bunch of hellhounds and then Lucifer raised Death? And then Castiel escaped and teleported them away? WAY TO FAIL AT KILLING THE DEVIL, BOYS.

And this REALLY bothers me. LUCIFER IS NOT THE YOUNGER BROTHER. Lucifer was the FIRST angel, so he is most definitely THE OLDER BROTHER. MICHAEL IS YOUNGER. *HEADDESK*
 
 
Current Location: under the sea
Current Mood: bitchy
 
 
celzmccelz
21 November 2009 @ 07:05 pm
So in a ridiculous and pathetic attempt to avoid doing my phonology homework and my study abroad application, I've spent the past three hours listening to Death Cab For Cutie and reading really old Heroes badfic. Someone please, please come shoot me in the head.

It's not even satisfying badfic. I've been slogging through the season 1 era posts in the Mylar communities and all I can say is WHERE IS THE FUCKING DUBCON?? I can't BELIEVE all the nauseating fluff I've been digging up. Apparently I've vastly underestimated the popular demand for happy stories about watchmakers who fall in love with Indian geneticists. IT'S FUCKING SYLAR FOR GOD'S SAKE, WHAT IS WRONG WITH THESE FUCKING PEOPLE?

Also, I hate Deathcab. I keep listening to them to try and understand why they're so popular, but it never makes any sense and I'm pretty sure it's making me lose braincells. But my brother fucking loves them now. *headdesk*
 
 
Current Location: the bottom of the barrel
Current Mood: nauseated
 
 
celzmccelz
16 November 2009 @ 07:59 pm
SUMMARY:BADASS VAMPIRE ANNE FRANK TAKES VENGENCE FOR THE JEWS AND RAPES SPARKLEPIRE HITLER WHILE A JEALOUS PRIEST!MUSSOLINI WATCHES
 
 
celzmccelz
14 November 2009 @ 10:33 am
LOL

I can't believe they did an episode that was completely 100% fanservice.

HOTLINKED FOR GREAT JUSTICE:


OMG THE ENDING WITH THE TWO SAM AND DEAN COSPLAYERS LKJSDJFDIGFOIDSI "We're more than friends" OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD LSKDFDS!!!!! And, astonishingly, SPN finally has gay characters that aren't the first to die. In fact they survived an entire episode. This is progress! Instead the obnoxious fan who kept criticizing the show was killed off. Real subtle, guys.

I was getting super irritated by the fact that Becky seemed to be the only girl at the convention. I've SEEN pictures of Supernatural conventions. THERE ARE NO MEN. DO THE WRITERS SERIOUSLY THINK MEN WATCH THEIR SHOW? I get that it was funny to have a bunch of guys wandering around dressed as Sam and Dean, but then there was the thing where the fanboys got to save the day and I was like, EW God this is such a heterosexual male fantasy, this is probably exactly what Kripke wanted to do when he was going to Star Trek conventions as a pimply adolescent, I BET HE WISHES HAS LIFE WAS JUST LIKE GALAZYQUEST. Loser. BUT THEN THEY TURNED OUT TO BE GAY SO IT MADE IT ALL BETTER. At least they're acknowledging that their fanbase is not actually made of typical heterosexual male nerds who watch for the hot chicks or whatever. And I suppose in the show Supernatural is a series of graphic novels, not a TV show, so it might make sense that the demographic audience would be different, or whatever. STILL, WHERE WERE ALL THE SLASHFANS? Slashfic is CANON in SPN, they can't get out of it now that it's been PUT IN THE SHOW.

I THINK CHUCK SHOULD HAVE BEEN MADE TO ANSWER QUESTIONS ABOUT WINCEST. If I'd been in that room, I would totally have asked him who topped.

Also, "It's not jumping the shark if you never come back down." Good to know, Kripke. I understand perfectly now.

Just one thing. CROWLEY?? SRSLY???? I suppose this counts as an "homage" to Good Omens or some shit, but it's just not classy. Also, you can't have Crowley without Aziraphale.
 
 
Current Location: UR MOM
Current Mood: vodka and redbull hangover
 
 
celzmccelz
06 November 2009 @ 04:38 pm
OMFG GUYS, SPN IS ACTUALLY GOING TO DO A BODYSWAP EPISODE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LASHOSDHGHSDHGOIHSDOGHSDGHOISD YESSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IT'S EPISODE 12!!!! OMG NEEEED!!!!!!

AND 5x09 IS THE CONVENTION EPISODE!!!!!!!!

AND IN 5x10 ELLEN AND JO ARE BACK!!!

Jim Beaver says the episode is going to be "powerful". LOL that remains to be seen. I just want to see Castiel get tortured by Lucifer!!


ETA: Apparently "HOTLINKING IS NOT ALLOWED".
 
 
celzmccelz
06 November 2009 @ 04:02 pm
That was completely retarded and utterly amazing. Delicious comedy gold with a chewy, angsty center. I CAME. No seriously, I did.

SO THE TRICKSTER WAS ACTUALLY GABRIEL THIS WHOLE TIME, LOL WUT SPN ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS???
Whatever, I'm glad they brought him back because he's FUCKING AWESOME. I'd fuck him just for anal-probing that frat boy in season two. Like, it's really stupid that he's actually an angel but I don't care because he's soooooooo CUTE with his, "My family fights all the time mnaaaaaa, I just want it to stooooopppp, watch me cry angry woobie tears while a small Japanese man PUNCHES YOU IN THE NUTS!!!" God, there were so many beautiful moments on this episode. OMG GUYS, DEAN WAS TOTALLY FANBOYING DR. SEXY, THIS IS FUCKING CANON BTICHES!!! Did you hear his little breathy swooning noise? I THINK THIS CONCLUSIVELY PROVES THAT DEAN REALLY DOES JUST WANT TO GET BENT OVER AND FUCKED. AND OMG THE OPENING TITLES FOR THE SITCOM WHERE THEY WERE RIDING THE TANDEM BICYCLE, EEEEE!!!!!! I HAVE NO WORDS!!!!! THERE WAS JUST SO MUCH WONDERFULNESS EVERYWHERE, I CAN'T EVEN LIST IT ALL! AND

OMG THE GENITAL HERPES!!!!!!!!

LSKHDOFHSDOHGOSDHOGISDOGHSOIEHGOISDHISDHOIGHSDOIGH

I feel like Castiel could have been used more. I miss him! I miss his little faaaaace!!!!! But he was so fucking adorable when he showed up. "Guys, what are you doing here?" AND THE DUCT TAPE OVER HIS MOUTH SLDKHNFDSFDSGSD, I JUST WANT TO TIE HIM UP AND DO DIRTY THINGS TO HIM!!!

AND OMG OKAY THIS:

"Two brothers who loved each other and betrayed each other."

I WANT TO READ FIC WHERE DEAN!MICHAEL AND SAM!LUCIFER HAVE EPIC INCESTUOUS ANGEL HATE!SEX OMFG!!!!!!!!
 
 
Current Mood: giggly
 
 
celzmccelz
02 November 2009 @ 08:48 pm
Well that was seriously lacking in sexy. Who the fuck decided it was a good idea to subtract half the eye-candy from this episode? Seriously, fugly old!Dean was funny for about thirty seconds and then I was bored out of my mind for the next forty minutes. I DO NOT WATCH THIS SHOW TO SEE UGLY OLD MEN FAIL AT CLIMBING STAIRS. Sam wasn't that hot either this week. His hair looked awful and he wibbled too much. And the Irish guy and that chick were super annoying. IT'S DIFFICULT TO MAKE ME HATE IRISH GUYS, BUT SPN FUCKING MANAGED IT. I guess that last scene was supposed to be sad and dramatic or something, but I was just like OMG HURRY UP AND DIE FOR GOD'S SAKE, I WANT TO SEE JENSEN ACKLES SHOW UP AGAIN IN THE LAST THREE MINUTES OF THIS EPISODE. 

This shit gave me serious PTSD flashbacks to Last of the Time Lords. It's just like that crap RTD pulled with David Tennant. HOT ACTORS SHOULD NOT SUDDENLY BE TURNED OLD AND UGLY FOR THE SAKE OF SOME RETARDED PLOT POINT. It makes the show BAD. Why do they think we're watching in the first place? For the brilliantly written storylines? Fucking losers. And I swear to God, when that chick started meaningfully fingering her locket thingy I was like, OH she's a TIME LADY, THAT EXPLAINS EVERYTHING. MAYBE SHE'S THE MASTER'S NEW REGENERATION.

I guess I should care about Bobby's character development, etc etc, but I guess I'm just shallow because the only part of the episode I liked was when Dean proved once again that he is a huge girl and Bobby had to shut down the chick flick moment.

And it was fucking hilarious when Sam got gonorrhea. But other than that it was a completely useless episode, worst than last week. HEY SPN, PLEASE STOP SUCKING. 

Oh, and here is Dean's beautiful face (with bonus autumnal-themed bondage) because I'm feeling deprived of it:



 
 
Current Location: whatever
Current Mood: blah
 
 
celzmccelz
28 October 2009 @ 06:30 pm

So I've been translating Xenophon's Anabasis for my Greek 100 class, and I've been coming across some pretty INTERESTING STUFF. This is what Xenophon had to say about about his fellow Athenian, Meno, after her was murdered by the Persians. After thoroughly trashing his character in every way (saying he was a liar, a terrible military commander, completely immoral, etc etc), he finishes up with THIS shocking rejoinder:

παρὰ Ἀριστίππου μὲν ἔτι ὡραῖος ὢν στρατηγεῖν διεπράξατο τῶν ξένων, Ἀριαίῳ δὲ βαρβάρῳ ὄντι, ὅτι μειρακίοις καλοῖς ἥδετο, οἰκειότατος [ἔτι ὡραῖος ὢν] ἐγένετο, αὐτὸς δὲ παιδικὰ εἶχε Θαρύπαν ἀγένειος ὢν γενειῶντα.

"When he still had the beauty of a boy, he persuaded Aristippus to give him command of his mercenaries. Then, he lived on very intimate terms with Ariaeus, though he was a barbarian, because Ariaeus was very fond of good looking young men. And he himself, while still beardless, kept Tharypas, an adult, as his lover." (Xen. Anab. 2.6.28)

So not only was he a truly terrible person, he was ALSO a huge manslut! The SUPER wrong part of this, from an Ancient Greek's perspective, is the fact that Meno violated the traditional erastes/eromenos relationship by having an older man as his " παιδικὰ", a word which you could probably loosely translate as "boy-toy", basically the submissive, traditionally younger lover. It was considered TOTALLY inappropriate for a younger guy to top an older guy, which is apperently what Meno was doing.

It should be noted that Xenophon was in general pretty squicked by homosexuality, despite the fact that he was surrounded by it, and was probably the only man in Classical Athens who though Achilles and Patroclus were "just really good friends." It should also be noted that he pretty much only hated Meno because they were rivals for Socrates' attention.


 

 
 
Current Mood: bouncy
 
 
celzmccelz
20 October 2009 @ 10:00 pm
THERE'S A FULL PAGE ARTICLE ABOUT SUPERNATURAL IN THE NATIONAL CATHOLIC REPORTER. Which is awesome and LOLarious, but the best part is that the person who wrote it is obviously a drooling fangirl. She gushed about Castiel for like three paragraphs and congratulated the show for it's moral complexity and willingness to take on religious themes, calling it a "tightrope act of faith and doubt." She thinks the only problem with it is the fact that they keep killing off the "interesting" female characters. She specifically mentioned Anna, who she seems to be kind of in love with. OMG GUYS I'M PRETTY MUCH PISSING MYSELF. Not only does she think SPN is SRS BZN, she also thinks it merits writing about in a CATHOLIC NEWSPAPER. I can only imagine what she'd say if she knew what went on in SPN fandom. Although who knows, maybe she's a total slasher and just didn't mention it in the article because, you know, the nice Catholic people aren't really down with gay incest and/or gay angel porn. MAYBE SHE'S SECRETLY A BNF AND I'VE BEEN FAPPING TO HER FANFIC 
FOR THE PAST YEAR. THAT WOULD BE  A MINDFUCK.
 
 
Current Mood: hyper
 
 
celzmccelz
16 October 2009 @ 03:52 pm
Well...that was weird. The antichrist? Seriously? *headdesk* I'm pained that they went there. The whole show would be better if SAM actually was the anti-christ instead of the bullshit Lucifer's vessel cop-out, but if Sam ISN'T the antichrist it's retarded to introduce a whole NEW antichrist character. It just highlights the fact that Sam's big evil destiny that everyone was pissing themselves over was basically just to be LUCIFER'S FULL-BODY CONDOM. IT'S LAME.

It was kind of a shit episode in my opinion. The pacing was really off and it was just like one WTF moment after another. The frighteningly masculine toothfairy, Dean and the ham, Dean melting the rubber chicken, DEAN GROWING HAIR ON HIS PALMS OMG I LOLED AT THAT. Then it was like WTF OMG DOLL!CASTIEL, HEY, LET'S TELL THIS KID WE'RE TRYING TO RECRUIT HIM TO THE X-MEN, OH WAIT HE DISAPPEARED NOW WHAT? IDK, parts of it were hilarious but it didn't really hang together.

I was gleeful at Castiel being all SAM, YOU MADE BAD CHOICES AND NOW I WILL GUILT TRIP YOU FOREVER. It was so cute with Sam wibbling and Castiel being a total catty bitch. And then trying to stab a little kid! LOL I love him.

AND SAM AND DEAAAAN!!!! It was so ADORABLE when Dean was like, "I wish dad had lied to us," and Sam was like, "Me too." SUCH A CHANGE from what a douchebag Sam was last season in the episode with their Gary-Stu little brother. THEY'RE LIKE BROTHERS AGAIN!!

But seriously, this show does Sam and Dean's relationship really well but THE PLOT SUCKS SO MUCH I CAN'T EVEN DEAL WITH IT.



 
 
Current Mood: blah
 
 
celzmccelz
OMG look at this absurdly romantic, epically gay statue:



Of course it was made in 1827, so it hardly counts as art, but it's based on two characters from the Aeneid,

Nisus and Euryalus

who were in EPIC CANON GAY LOVE!!!! According to Wikipedia:

When the Trojans are holding funeral games for Aeneas' father, it is his love for Euryalus that drives Nisus to perform in the foot race. When Nisus slips in the blood where the animals were sacrificed, he trips another runner to allow Euryalus to win the race. Later, while Aeneas is away from the Trojan camp, Nisus and Euryalus propose a covert night-mission to the other generals. Breaking into the Rutulian camp, they are able to get the better of dozens of drunk, dozing enemies, but get carried away, gathering the spoils of the defeated. Euryalus is spotted and captured, and Nisus is forced to watch from a hiding place as his friend is executed. Enraged, he descends on Euryalus' murderers, killing several of them but dying himself in the process.

The exact relationship between the two is not made clear, but there was a deep emotional and possibly romantic connection between Nisus and Euryalus. It is argued that a homosexual relationship was too taboo to write about, but other critics argue that this assumption is incorrect, referencing the homoerotic themes in Virgil's Eclogues. These critics argue that the homosexual relationship between Nisus and Euryalus is vital, and that, in general, homosexual relationships were not considered taboo in the Graeco-Roman era.

I've always thought Vergil was kind of a hack for being all "ARMA VIRUMQUE CANO, SCREW HOMER, LOOK I CAN DO THE ILIAD AND THE ODYSSEY IN ONE BOOK BITCHES NAAAAAAAA!!!!!!" But I can kind of forgive him, since he was obviously a fan of TEH GAY.

And before you ask, let me just say that NO, I haven't read the Aeneid all the way through. I read the beginning, got bored, skipped to the part with Dido, got disgusted, skipped to the part where Aeneas visits the underworld, then got really irritated and threw it across the room for being imperialist propaganda. I mean seriously, LOOK at this shit:

Others will cast more tenderly in bronze
Their breathing figures, I can well believe,
And bring more lifelike portraits out of marble;
Argue more eloquently, use the pointer
To trace the paths of heaven accurately
And accurately foretell the rising stars.
Roman, remember by your strength to rule
Earth's peoples - for your arts are to be these:
To pacify, to impose the rule of law,
To spare the conquered, battle down the proud.

This is basically a huge FUCK YOU to the Greeks, with the Romans going, "IT TOTALLY DOESN'T MATTER THAT YOU CAN DO MATH AND BUILD PRETTY STATUES, WE HAVE A HUGE ARMY AND CAN KICK YOUR ASS, SO OBVIOUSLY WE MUST BE SUPERIOR OMG LOL!!1!!111"

But if I want to be a SRS BZN Classics major I will eventually have to read the Aeneid in Latin, since it is THE work of Latin literature, EVEN THOUGH IT'S ESSENTIALLY FANFICTION OF HOMER, so I guess at least now I have a good reason, namely CANON GAY. And I guess amazing poetry blah blah blah HOMER DID IT BETTER, LATINISTS CAN SUCK IT.


 



 
 
Current Location: UHHHHH
Current Mood: bouncy
 
 
celzmccelz
11 October 2009 @ 01:49 pm
I am so irritated with SPN fandom right now. I feel like wherever I go, all I can find is Dean/Castiel porn, hysterical Castiel-bashing, pointless J2 PWP schmoop, PWP with kink so disgusting that even I won't read it, Merlin fic, and people squeeing about Glee. WHERE IS THE SAM/DEAN LOVE, GUYS? I DO NOT WANT TO READ ABOUT JENSEN AND JARED  PEEING ON EACH  OTHER AND THEN DRESSING UP IN FURSUITS AND GIVING EACH OTHER ENEMAS.

Speaking of retarded people who suck, I've decided that my NaNoWriMo is going to be about the Anti-Christ's incestuous relationship with his older brother.  OMG I AM SO ORIGINAL, RIGHT??? THERE'S NO WAY I STOLE THAT IDEA!! There will also be a gay priest (who in my mind looks exactly like Jensen Ackles) and an angel and a demon who will have a lot of lesbian hate-sex. Also I will include every mythological creature/character that I ever thought was cool in a vain attempt to boost my word count. This is highly embarrassing shit, even worse than my other NaNoWriMo with incest and demons. *headdesk*

In preparation for this trainwreck, I've been researching Christian eschatology, and I have to say that not only did SPN get the apocalypse spectacularly wrong, people who actually BELIEVE that the book of Revelations refers to an actual apocalypse are EVEN MORE WRONG. Like you can say, of course they're fucking retarded, they actually believe in the Rapture and the four horsemen and the seven seals and shit, but no seriously, they're way stupider than the people who take the other parts of the Bible literally. At least Genesis actually claims to be the literal truth. Revelations is SO OBVIOUSLY a metaphor for predicting the inevitable fall of the Roman Empire. It talks about "the beast", which later interpretations associate with the Anti-Christ mentioned in the first letter of John, having seven heads, and it says, "And the seven heads are the seven hills, and the woman (the Whore of Babylon) is sitting on them" (Revelations 17:9). SEVEN HILLS, PEOPLE. ROME HAS SEVEN HILLS. IT'S NOT FUCKING ROCKET SCIENCE. The extended passages describing the fall of Babylon actually refer to the fall of Rome. The beast, "the one who comes in his own name", refers to the Roman emperors, who force Christians to worship them. This interpretation is widely accepted among Christians who are NOT NUTS.

Also, fun fact: the supposed 144,000 who are going to be raptured are "the ones who have kept their virginity and not been defiled with women." IT DOESN'T SAY ANYTHING ABOUT IT BEING OKAY IF YOU'RE MARRIED. APPARENTLY SEX WILL DEFILE YOU NO MATTER WHAT. THEREFORE ALL MARRIED PEOPLE WILL NOT BE RAPTURED. UGLY VIRGINAL PEOPLE, HOWEVER, ARE GOOD TO GO. ALL THOSE CREEPY FAMILY VALUES PEOPLE CAN FUCKING SUCK IT. IF YOU HAVE A FAMILY YOU WILL NOT GO TO HEAVEN BECAUSE YOUR HETEROSEXUAL  PROCREATIVE SEX DEFILED YOU.

 
 
Current Location: TIN HAT TIN HAT TIN HAT
Current Mood: cranky
Current Music: Susan Mckeown
 
 
celzmccelz
09 October 2009 @ 07:58 pm
LOL okay so I found this spoiler (at this source),

As for Supernatural, two fan favorites are going to die this season during this season, in the same episode Sam and Dean fight Lucifer.

I BET YOU FIVE MILLION DOLLARS SAM AND DEAN ARE GOING TO DIE. The show has so few recurring characters, and even fewer that the fans like, there's not really anyone else they could be talking about. I suppose they could kill Castiel and Bobby, but it doesn't really make sense that they would do that and then let Sam and Dean live. What are they going to do, drive off into the sunset together? Fuck no, there's no way they're going to be allowed to be happy. Kripke doesn't believe in happy endings. He doesn't believe in happiness PERIOD. And there's no way they'd only kill one Winchester, it'd have to be both of them. Seriously, I'm pretty much 100% sure they're going to die. It would follow the pattern of Epic Bad Shit going down in SPN season finales. The only season that DIDN'T end with a member of the Winchester family dying/being fatally injured was Season 4, in which Sam and Dean destroyed their relationship and accidentally released the MOTHERFUCKING APOCALYPSE. And now Kripke has to top that. I'm pretty sure Lucifer isn't going to win--I think that would be too ridiculous even for SPN--but it seems likely that Sam and Dean will have to sacrifice themselves to save the world.

I'm not at all upset by this. If they die together then it's all okay.

 
 
Current Mood: excited
 
 
celzmccelz
09 October 2009 @ 03:59 pm
LOL Dean referencing House of Wax.

Oh look, it's naked J-Pad getting wax dripped on him



I really need to watch the rest of that movie.

Anyway, I love that Sam and Dean spent the whole episode talking about their relationship. If anything, the Monster of the Week plot seemed kind of shoehorned in. It's too bad because I was SO looking forward to the boys killing Paris Hilton, but by the time she showed up I was like OMFG JUST GO AWAY SO THEY CAN TALK ABOUT THEIR FEELINGS SOME MORE. I'd forgotten what a fucking terrible actress she is. Like, it was kind of funny, but also excruciatingly painful.

The scene at the end was gorgeous, though. SAM AND DEAN!!!!!! JESUS CHRIST THEY ARE SO CUTE!!!!!! Still no hugging, crying, or boy!touching, though. I'm waiting on that.

 
 
Current Mood: cheerful
Current Music: Imogen Heap--Ellipse
 
 
celzmccelz
08 October 2009 @ 08:03 pm


I think he's actually more aesthetically pleasing than this Greek statuary...



*swoon*
 
 
Current Mood: horny
 
 
celzmccelz
04 October 2009 @ 01:25 pm
I'm so fucked. I mean, there's no way in hell I'll finish, but I can't quite give up on the idea that if I just try it one more time...

Maybe if I start with a plot and characters that I'm not attached to I'll be able to spew out thousands of words of vomit-worthy prose without actually caring.

Tags:
 
 
Current Mood: pessimistic
 
 
celzmccelz
02 October 2009 @ 04:10 pm
THAT WAS SO BEAUTIFUL


Some of the dialogue was really awful, and there wasn't enough hugging, but I'm not sure if I've ever had more fun watching an SPN episode.

OMG THAT SCENE IN THE ROSE GARDEN WITH
THE RAIN AND DEAN CRYING, I PRETTY MUCH CAME IN
MY PANTS WHILE I WAS WATCHING IT.




The rest of my review is under an LJ cut to avoid traumatizing anyone with my rampant heterosexuality )

Anyway, in short: SAM AND DEAN ARE BACK TOGETHER!


HOORAY!
 
 
Current Location: BOOM
Current Mood: cheerful
Current Music: SLDHIFDOHOSDHFOUSH
 
 
celzmccelz
30 September 2009 @ 04:59 pm
Professor: Demaenetus coquum et tibicinam uidet.

Guy in my class: I have no idea what that means.

Professor: You were supposed to translate this passage for homework.

Guy: Yeah, it was too hard.

Professor: Um...okay. Well, lets see if we can break it down. Let's start with the verb. What does 'uidet' mean?

Guy: Uh...

Professor: The first person is 'uideo'. Remember in Latin all the 'v's are 'u's.

Guy: ...

Professor: What would this be if you changed the v to a u?

Guy: Video?

Professor: Yes. Like video in English. So what do you think it means?

Guy: I don't know?

Professor: Think. What do you do with a video?

Guy: Uh...play it?

...

IT MEANS "I SEE."



 
 
Current Location: NAAAA
Current Mood: grumpy
Current Music: Anuna
 
 
celzmccelz
25 September 2009 @ 11:13 am
Ooooooooh that was DELICIOUS.

First of all, it's totally obvious that Dean was lying when he said he was happier without Sam because HE WANTS HIS NECKLACE BACK. And then there's the fact that he's so clearly trying to use Castiel as a replacement-Sam, and Castiel is getting pissy because he doesn't want to be Dean's rebound relationship.

I really don't see how this episode could be any gayer. Dean comparing himself and Castiel to Thelma and Louise--he does know they KISSED before they drove off the cliff, right? Then randomly saying that he thinks Bert and Ernie are gay while trying to get Castiel laid, and FIXING CASTIEL'S COLLAR FOR HIM OMG THE CUTENESS, and Castiel being an adorable little lost woobie and gazing at Dean with big adoring eyes, OH HE'S SO PRECIOUSSSSS!!!!!!

Dean is really being a little bitch, though. He's trampling all over Castiel's crush on him and being completely insensitive, then saying he's glad he doesn't have to deal with his family anymore. DEAN, I KNOW YOU'RE BITTER, BUT YOUR ONLY PURPOSE IN LIFE IS TO TAKE CARE OF SAM. You'd think he would realize after the events of season 4 that Sam REALLY can't be trusted to look after himself and he NEEDS HIS DEAN. God, boys are so stupid about their feelings.

You know what this is reminding me of? The beginning of Queer as Folk season 3 when Justin dumped Brian, and then Brian started trying to spend all his time with Michael to fill the huge gaping hole in his heart. Perhaps it's a bit unfair to compare Dean to BRIAN MOTHERFUCKING KINNEY, BIGGEST ASSHOLE EVER, but right now he's acting THAT RETARDED.

But OMG the best part of the episode was LUCIFER TRYING TO SEDUCE SAM OMG OMG OMG OMG SO WONDERFUL!!!!!!!!!!!! It was creepy and homoerotic (LOL SAM KISSED HIM ON THE NECK WHEN HE THOUGHT HE WAS JESS) and FUCKING EPIC. Actually, I think Sam in general was the best part of the episode. I feel weird saying that because I'm a total Dean!girl, but I love the direction Sam's character has taken. Now that he's all tortured and dark and fighting his inner evil, he's SO ATTRACTIVE OMG. And he's so HUGE, and fucking PERFECTLY PROPORTIONED LIKE A GREEK STATUE. I get all melty and tingly just thinking about it.

Wow, I am so heterosexual. It's kind of embarrassing.

But I'm really pleased that Sam did have an epic evil destiny all along. It makes the story arc less retarded. LOL WHAT IF IT'S LIKE STAR WARS AND THEY 
USE HIS LOVE FOR DEAN TO TURN HIM TO THE DARK SIDE?

I love that SPN is now even more of a gay orgy than it used to be.
 
 
Current Location: YOUR MOM
Current Mood: bouncy
Current Music: O DEATH SPN REMIX OF AWESOME ON CONSTANT REPLAY
 
 
 
 

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